Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner. We’ve Got the Mugshot of the Year!

You have to wonder how drunk Cory P. Smits, 29 (29 my ass, dude looks middle-aged to me) was when he got those face tattoos.

He was more than three times the legal limit when he was stopped for his fifth DUI in Two Rivers, Wisconsin this week.

Judge Patrick Willis withheld the sentence for Cory P. Smits, 2822 12th St., and placed him on probation for three years.

Conditions of probation include: maintain absolute sobriety, undergo intoxicated driver assessment and driver safety plan, submit to random urine screens and pay for same, spend 10 months in jail under the work-release program starting immediately, pay $3,981 in fines and costs, pay supervision and attorney fees, provide DNA sample and pay DNA surcharge.

Willis also ordered 30 months’ driver’s license revocation and ignition interlock. Smits has credit for 11 days served.

According to the Two Rivers Police Department report:

Police stopped Smits in the 2000 block of 12th Street on Feb. 12 for swerving left and right while driving. Smits smelled of alcohol, had glassy and bloodshot eyes and had a hard time walking and standing. He became belligerent and uncooperative and had to be pepper-sprayed when he began pounding his head on the back seat of the patrol car.

His blood-alcohol level was 0.29. One previous OWI conviction took place in 2004, two in 2005 and one in 2008.

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