I have been working on a side project with a friend of mine that required me to chase down some of the more “extreme” quotes by politicians in recent years.
What I found was absolutely amazing and led me to one inescapable conclusion.
The next time you think the conservative side of politics might be for you, remember these quotes and quickly run far away…..
Please note that all of these quotes come from either actual republican office-holders, nominated candidates, the talking heads on right-wing TV & radio or from the ever popular, increasingly batshit cousins of the GOP…a.k.a. the TeaTards .
The GOP Has All the Smart Ones
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
Could NOT have summed up this bumbling fool’s Presidency better myself. I never thought he was a bad guy. He was just a misguided dumbass and that was bad enough.
“Facts are stupid things.”
This is what being a Tea Party Patriot must be all about. Facts really don’t have any meaning to them. All they know is what FOX news told them last night.
“President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a far broader scale.”
So true!!! I remember reading about the phone taps placed on Tories phones during the Revolutionary War and Lincoln’s “Computer Spying Act” of 1862.
And to think this idiot was actually the attorney general. I always loved how Dubya’s pet nickname for this guy was “Fredo”, the other brother in the Godfather. I guess no one told Bush that Fredo was a retard. Then again, maybe they did and he had it right all along.
“The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.”
Ok, ok. You win. But just a small one. For your house Rush.
“When the President does it, that means that it’s not illegal.”
Or it means you’re a fascist and every bit the douchebag we always thought you were.
And the GOP really feels this way too. Dick Cheney did more to mutate the power of the Executive Branch in
his Bush’s eight years as President than anyone could have ever imagined possible.
“I feel the best way to ensure Americans’ freedom is to tighten restrictions on that freedom in any way possible. Only through wiretaps, illegal searches and seizures, unfettered government intrusion, a controlled media and a complete crackdown on free speech can we ensure the liberties of all people.”
Or, in other words:
The best way to assure that Americans never have cavities is to pull out all of their teeth….
I suppose the idiocy here is self-explanatory. No wonder this guy lost a Senate race to a dead guy. No really, he did.
“These are not bad people. All they are concerned about is to see that their sweet little girls are not required to sit in school alongside some big overgrown Negroes”
I Like Ike.
Except when he’s being a racist, douchebag asshole like this. Much respect for your service to our country but this is pretty damn ignorant my friend.
”My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.”
Wow. At least your grandmother has a lot in common with 90% of the GOP base – they’re not highly educated neither.
“The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.”
Sometimes these assclowns say things so outrageously stupid that no other words are necessary.
If I were Christian, I’d kick this guy out of my organized religion faster than you could say, “fat dumb ass”.
“I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.”
Too late! Unless by “long gone” you simply meant out of office. But we know what you did, George.
Hell, my dog knows what you did and he is neither human nor smart.
Senator Murphy proved that the southern Republicans were a bunch of bigots who looked disparagingly at Mexicans long before the racists of today’s GOP took hold of the anti-Mexican torch (unless said Mexicans were able to be their landscapers or nannys) .
Murphy once stated that Mexicans were genetically suited to farm labor; because they were “built lower to the ground,” it was supposedly “easier for them to stoop.”
“Janet Reno was unanimously confirmed by the U.S. Senate to become the first female attorney general. (It took longer to confirm her gender than to confirm her law license.),”
Typical mean GOP attempt at funny by Turner, who fell on his sword to protect scumbag Prez hopeful Barbour, but this stupid little comment was just the tip of the asshole iceberg.
“Otis Redding posthumously received a gold record for his single, “(Sittin’ on) The Dock of the Bay.” (Not a big hit in Japan right now.)”
Are you fucking kidding me? This is the kind of insensitive, asinine remark that comes out of the email-mouth of a Republican at this time of Japanese tragedy? And “they” wonder why the intelligent people of the world despise them.
I want to punch this piece of shit myself.
“When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, ‘Oh shut up’ I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining.”
Do you believe this asshole? He, along with the GOP, climbed on the backs of these people, paraded them (or the memory of their dead loves ones) out hundreds of times to push their own agenda and then he says this.
I won’t lie. If I ever see this guy Ima go all Daulton from Road House on his ass. Joining him in the “gettin his head caved in” will be…
“These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefparrazies. I have never seen people enjoying their husband’s deaths so much.” -on 9/11 widows who have been critical of the Bush administration
This is so blatantly evil I don’t even know where to start. Well I would start by drop kicking her ass off a bridge as if her name was Baxter.
“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
I don’t think Arnold gets it.
“We know there are known knowns: there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns: that is to say we know there are things we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”
Such as 2 + 2 = 4?
Ultimate example of moronic double-speak.
“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”
Yes. He did actually say something this ignorant.
Though the “practice witchcraft” part breaks me up every time.
“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.”
See what happens when you think facts are stupid. You just start making shit up.
I liked Reagan. Didn’t always see eye to eye with his stuff, but overall thought he was a decent guy. I hope I don’t run across too many more of these and have to start re-thinking my position on him =( .
“Bob, please get me the names of the Jews, you know, the big Jewish contributors of the Democrats…All right. Could we please investigate some of the cocksuckers? That’s all.”
That’s right folks, they don’t just hate blacks and gays and liberals, deep down, despite all of their posturing on support for Israel, they hate Jews too.
“We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity”
Didn’t Hitler say something like this? You know, right before Czechoslovakia.
This fascist comment came after 9/11. I think the bitch is talking about terrorists. So I propose that we start with “invading” Timothy McVeigh’s “country” (otherwise known as the Republican National Committee).
“It’s sort of like hazing, a fraternity prank. Sort of like that kind of fun.”
* Stated about abuse of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib by United States soldiers (May 3-4, 2004), quoted in — Hunt, Jim (2009). They Said What?: Astonishing Quotes on American Democracy, Power, and Dissent. Polipoint Press. p. 196. ISBN 0981709168.
All I can say is it sure would be a great “prank” to water-board a piece of shit like Rush. We could even have a “Torture The Fat Lying Junkie” party, since the fat lying junkie thinks it’s just fun and games.
The only difference between water-boarding an Iraqi detainee and water-boarding Rush Limbaugh is that Limbaugh actually deserves it.
“She’s a professional at what she does,” Tim Profitt, who was fired Tuesday from Paul’s Senate campaign, said in an interview with local television station WKYT. “When all the facts come out people will see that she’s the one who initiated the whole thing.”
Yes, the young lady actually threw herself on the ground and literally begged those big strong men to step on her.
This reminds me, what bygone political party was also known for jack-booting their opponents?
“What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) — this is working very well for them.” —Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the hurricane evacuees at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 5, 2005
Going by this “logic” I would have to assume..oh who am I kidding? There is NO logic involved in that one.
Even in the picture she’s like “Shh! Don’t tell anybody what a horrible person I am”.
”The greatest threat to America is not necessarily a recession or even another terrorist attack. The greatest threat to America is a liberal media bias.”
Way to really grasp those priorities! Do I have to point out the obvious and tell you that he said this on Fox?
”As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?”
The truly sad part of all this is that some of you folks, more than just a few, actually VOTED to place this retard one old ass, Jon McCain heartbeat away from the Presidency.
Yes, even if I love you as a person I think you were an idiot for doing such a thing.
“Segregation in the South is honest, open and aboveboard.”
Not to mention racist, ignorant and evil, which just happen to be the Big Three “Values” that the GOP espouses most.
But hey, Jesse Helms DID once refer to UNC as “The University of Niggers and Communists” and proposed a wall to seal off the campus.
“No intelligent Negro citizen should be insulted by a reference to this very plain fact of life. It is time to face honestly and sincerely the purely scientific statistical evidence of natural racial distinction in group intellect. … There is no bigotry either implicit or intended in such a realistic confrontation with the facts of life. … Those who would undertake to solve the problem by merely spending more money, and by massive forced integration, may be doing the greatest injustice of all to the Negro.”
Yeah, ’nuff said.
“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”
This guy has to be the least intelligent man to ever hold the office of Vice President.
Notice I didn’t say the least intelligent man to be elected to high office. Would have been, but then George W. Bush came along. I could build an entire 100 item list of the incredibly stupid things Mr. Quayle has been quotes as saying (Potatoe anyone?) but we’ll leave poor Dan alone. He’s so forgotten nowadays anyway.
“AIDS is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”
I’m pretty sure this Falwell guy has a few skeletons in his own closet to worry about, and have always wondered what he expected to find on that page in Hustler when he thumbed his way through the thing but he’s sure good for a quote or two!
“As people do better, they start voting like Republicans…unless they have too much education and vote Democratic”
Finally one of them gets something right! Yes GOP. We know it bothers you that the “bad liberals” have more education than you do. But your lack of education sure makes for a great list of dumb comments!
A recent move by this Fascist piece of shit was to remove a mural depicting the history of labor be removed from the Department of Labor because it was “too one sided” in favor of (gasp!) Labor! My gosh, can’t have anything pro-labor in the Department of labor.
Later this month he’ll be closing down Acadia National Park because it’s too one-sided in favor of nature.
“There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
Oh yeah? Name one
Bachmann said of New Hampshire: “You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world at Lexington and Concord.”
The Battles of Lexington and Concord in 1775 were fought in Massachusetts. Derp!
Meanwhile, if you want more from this special one (as in Special Ed) you can find about 47382910 zany quotes form her is you just google “Michele Bachmann idiot” or some variation.
“Homosexual behavior is a ground for divorce, an act of sexual misconduct punishable as a crime in Alabama, a crime against nature, an inherent evil, and an act so heinous that it defies one’s ability to describe it. That is enough under the law to allow a court to consider such activity harmful to a child. To declare that homosexuality is harmful is not to make new law but to reaffirm the old; to say that it is not harmful is to experiment with people’s lives, particularly the lives of children.”
One ex-aide referred to him as “Former Alabama Chief Justice, Bigot, Disgusting Human Being and Republican Roy Moore”.
And that’s all needs be said. Except maybe adding “Big Old Skulled” (see picture)
This one was good enough that only one person could out bigot Roy Moore and that would be…
“Common sense alone dictates that in the midst of a war with Islamic terrorists we should not place someone in a position of great power who shares their doctrine”. Moore upon a Muslim being elected to congress from a Minnesota district
I guess this dingbat forgot that little part about “Freedom of Religion”. Oh and that other part about religious tolerance. In fact, let’s go three for three and just call it what it is: Bigotry
“Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who take birth control pills.”
Nazi-boy said this after the Columbine massacre, which, as we all know, was a bunch of teens in trench-coats killing their classmates with books on evolution and bottles of birth-control pills.
What? It was guns? Oh.
“This president I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture….I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people. I’m saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist.”
Talk about the pot calling the kettle….
“I’m absolutely convinced that the threat we face now, the idea of a terrorist in the middle of one of our cities with a nuclear weapon, is very real and that we have to use extraordinary measures to deal with it.”
Hi. I’m Dick Cheney. My job is to scare Americans into voting Fascist!
I’m absolutely convinced that if Dick Cheney were in Germany in the 30’s it would have been him instead of Hitler running the Nazis.
Same guy, really.
“You will find liberals always rooting for savages against civilization.” –Ann Coulter
“They didn’t root for the Nazis against civilization.” –Bill O’Reilly
“Oh yes they did. … It was only when Hitler invaded their precious Soviet Union that at the last minute they came in and suddenly started saying oh no, now you have to fight Hitler.”
There isn’t one place this nasty lying bitch will not go in her attempts to blacklist liberals. Even this absolutely outrageous lie. You are going to new levels when Bill-O the Clown has to rein you back into reality.
“So many minority youths had volunteered…that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself.” On why he and Dan Quayle failed the patriotism quiz and didn’t fight in Vietnam.
Our magician friend Tom managed to combine racism, historical ignorance and the fact that he’s pure chickenshit all in one sentence.
C’mon Tom, you didn’t go to Vietnam for one reason: You’re a privileged little coward.
“The only way we’re going to get our economy going again and solve our budget problems is to get the economy moving.”
This guy Boehner’s a real fuckin’ genius, ain’t he?
On a side note, how do you GOPers keep lining up as the “tough guys” when Beck, this guy and others seem to cry on queue more often than the cast of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy?
“If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.”
Yes, one of the most vocal female voices in the conservative movement doesn’t think women should have the right to vote. Then the dummy wonders why women vote Democrat.
“I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo.”
Ain’t she sweet? You should have her over for tea. Just check the handbag for arsenic.
The devil hath power. To assume a pleasing shape.
Well, I can’t find anyone who so loudly exalts torture as “pleasing”, but I hear the most ardent Republican supporters masturbate to her.
“I am not going to give you a number for it because it’s not my business to do intelligent work.”
Finally one of them says something correct….
“Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn’t it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate.”
Another bigoted objection by the Republifascists is the “Ground Zero” Mosque. Figures this idiot would have something negative to say. But after reading it I can’t help shake the feeling that it was tweeted by an eleven year old.
“We needed to have the press be our friend … (and) ask the questions we want to answer so that they report the news the way we want it to be reported.”
Just read that again.
And they say it’s the left that behaves like Stalin?
Not to be outdone by anyone, including herself, she also came up with:
“People ask me, ‘What are you going to do to develop jobs in your state?’ Well, that’s not my job as a U.S. senator.”
I suppose she simply didn’t read the application for “Senator” she picked up at the local Whammy Burger.
Stickin’ with the TeaTards theme:
“Drag queen balls celebrate the type of lifestyle which leads to the disease AIDS”
And you, Ms. Dumbass, celebrate the type of life that leads to riding on a very short bus. To a building with people in white coats. Holding nets.
“Creationism, in essence, is believing that the world began as the Bible in Genesis says, that God created the earth in six days, six 24 hour periods. And there is just as much, if not more evidence supporting that”
If she only stopped after the 1st sentence she wouldn’t sound like a complete idiot. Just a brainwashed twat.
Evidence is a scientific thing you dummy! And there is absolutely ZERO scientific evidence to support creationism. Zero. Zip.
“If evolution is real, then why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?”
You’re kidding, right? Oh. My. God.
If evolution is real why isn’t Christine O’Donnell still evolving into a human being? That’s the better question!
“American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.”
You really, really can’t make this shit up. And to think, this moron could actually become a Congressperson. I think what she means is that the mice are simply smarter than she is……
“It (Social Security) is a giant Ponzi scheme.”
So tell me, the meaning to which phrase has escaped the giant brain of Ron Johnson:
Social Security or Ponzi Scheme?
‘Cause they ain’t the same thing!
“We have student loans and other programs that people have built up a dependence on and we have to, we have to over time, and I’m not talking about 30 years, but over time we have to wean the American public off of those.”
Yes, Republicans, whatever you do, make sure to make access to education difficult. If a college education became easy for everyone you guys would lose half your base!
“If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery…. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does.”
Don’t you just love the way he just takes off with it with no basis in fact or law. And then connect the dots to get:
Consensual sex between same sex partners leads to incest.
I smell a Presidential run!
“Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating the sanctity of life.”
And, of course, divorce must be “his” way of demonstrating the sanctity of marriage?
“Get rid of regulations…Get OSHA out of our small businesses.”
He’s right. Who needs safety rules in the workplace anyway.
I mean, Rand Paul’s never had to work a day in his whole life. What does he care about people who actually have to work for a living.
“What I don’t know is why the president can’t produce a birth certificate. I don’t know anybody else who can’t produce one. I think that’s a legitimate question.”
This entire line of talking points, the “Where’s the Beef” “Birthers” is, entirely ludicrous. Anyone who believes or proselytizes this particular piece of mendacity is an idiot.
“We’ve had Medicare since 1965, and Medicare has never done anything to make people more healthy.”
Another one that you have to read slowly or maybe just a couple of times to realize the magnitude of the stupidity therein. Not to mention the magnitude of the fabrication.
“The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”
Proving they really don’t care about America or the people of America or the economy or terrorism or education or anything else but being in control.
“The EPA is the Gestapo of government, purely and simply.”
Yup, the Gestapo truly had a long tradition of caring for the environment.
Here’s another clown who doesn’t know the meaning of the word hyperbole.
“Every person who opens the door — as long as they are white — I’ll say ‘I’m James Hart and I’m running for Congress.”
And Republicans wonder why the word “Racist” is constantly being thrown at them.
If the shoe fits….
“I’ll tell you who should be tortured and killed at Guantanamo – every filthy Democrat in the U.S. Congress. ”
Yes, he actually did. Good thing most filthy ones are on his side. Like anyone who would ever say something this disgusting.
This is the same douchebag who defended the use of torture & said he would “happily consent to being waterboarded as a fundraiser ‘for the troops’ families.’”
Once Keith Olbermann offered to donate $1,000 for every second Hannity lasted – and even found a former “private contractor” to perform the exercise – he never brought the subject up again.
“You’re not listening, Susan. You’ve got to learn something. He had weapons of mass destruction. He promised to disclose them. And he didn’t do it. You would have let him go free; we decided to hold him accountable.”
This might sound like the crap that was being spread about before the Iraq war started, though some of us knew it to be false long before the invasion. But no, this little bold-faced lie came out of Goebbel’s mouth in 2004, after it had been concluded the Bush administration had been wrong about WMD’s. Or, more to the point, had been lying.
“Anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister….”
I don’t know if this is dumb in the same sense that Dan Quayle’s quotes are “dumb” but this one perfectly highlights the exclusionary, religious intolerance that the GOP and their stoolies are famous for.
But what is dumb is the fact that if one accepts Jesus Christ as their savior the very nature of the true word of Jesus Christ compels one to take everyone, regardless of creed,color or religious belief as our brothers and sisters.
So what we have here is a Nazi posing as a man of God, who ironically has no fucking clue what the religion is all about, and, in fact, has it ALL WRONG.
“My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.”
Even when “joking” these jack-asses aren’t the slightest bit funny (unless you’re using “funny” in the same way people use “funny” to describe the way feet smell) but it does highlight the only answer they ever have to any foreign policy issue:
We begin bombing in 5 minutes.
“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other.”
I saved this one for last. Have to close the show with a bang.